Absence makes the heart rift.

I haven't talked to Scallops in two weeks. He's been out fishing so I haven't talked to him since he left. I hate to say that it's become easier being without him.

What if I don't want my life to be easy without him?

Must be recession...

So I was doing my daily retail roundup online, checking for new merchandise, essentially bargains before coming across this.

This maxi dress (click the on the image above) from forever 21 is listed under new items when in fact this is from the brand's summer inventory. How do I know? I have that same fucking dress and I bought it in July. A couple of months ago, this dress was collecting pity in the 2 for $20 rack during the summit of fall/winter inventory arrivals. Now that spring is just a stretch from February, it's being marketed as a new item, with it's original price!

Recession isn't an excuse to ruse consumers into purchasing off season merchandise for novelty prices, especially with the brand's reputation for catering to a young budget conscious demographic. This leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Polyester/rayon blends are getting too itchy for my armpits anyway.

You know what really grinds my gears?

Being left naked in bed alone.

I went off on Indo the other day because he found it necessary to leave me in bed so that he can indulge in a ciggarette outside. It's fucking rude to leave your significant other in bed midst an intimate conversation... naked! Bathroom breaks and hydration breaks are exceptions... but for a fucking ciggarette?! I didn't see this as an emergency. He wasn't foaming at the mouth. He wasn't having a seizure. It's fucking ridiculous!

Crush

I have a crush on my coworker.

This is how I know why:

1. I avoid him
2. I don't look at him in the eye, and when I do, I cover my mouth when I'm smiling
3. I like to look at empty space while acting charming if I'm in his line of sight
4. I get jealous when he talks to other girls
5. I get jealous when he brings up his gf
6. I take everything he says up the butt
7. I want to go to work

Fucking lame. Now back to reality...

Today, what started out to be alchohol bribery ended badly.

My korean friend (girl) has been having problems with her deadbeat live in boyfriend so I suggested she stuck around and I'll pick up the tab for her alcohol. Two large hot sakes and three bud lites for a 95 lb., 4'10" with nothing to adhere to but two horrendous sushi rolls... Go figure.

One thing led to another, then she was crying... red... and sloppy. So note to self: Don't buy anyone alcohol who has outstanding issues with life!

Thank god she wasn't driving.

Valentines Day is coming up, which would make it my one year anniversary since I started working at this restaurant. It's already February... where the fuck has the year gone by?

Good News

I passed my pharmacy tech board exam today! Fuck yeah!!!!!!!!

Now I don't have an excuse to not fold my laundry that's been sitting in the basket for a month!

Cycles

My entire life operates around cycles. I wander off from my point of origin for quite some time but eventually I end up back at square one. Once in a blue moon I complete an era and break away from my orbit just to begin yet another cycle.

Today my coworker kissed me in the cooler and I kissed back. Then I wonder, "What the fuck am I doing?" I have two wonderful men who I can't even make decision upon and here I am adding another item on my laundry list. Two wonderful men that I want equally. Two wonderful men that go to bed thinking that I am theirs.

A girl from work asked me how I am able to manage double lives. I told her the following...

1. Lie.
2. Never admit you're wrong.
3. Never apologize.
4. Never feel bad.

I'm spinning in place. Eventually I will tire out and end up alone or content. Anyway, isn't happiness the pot of gold we all seek at the end of the rainbow; no matter how many cycles or revolutions it takes to get there.